The Virtue of Regret / Vayera 11/08/25

The Virtue of Regret

To grasp the universe’s enigma, we frequently ascribe various human qualities to the divine. On the Holidays we chant:

ה’ ה’. אֵל רַחוּם וְחַנּוּן. אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם וְרַב חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת:

נצֵר חֶסֶד לָאֲלָפִים. נשא עָון וָפֶשַׁע וְחַטָּאָה וְנַקֵּה.

God is compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, kind and truthful, forebearing and forgiving. These are beautiful, lofty traits. But what about regret? Is regret also a Divine attribute? It innately implies fallibility. Does God also evolve?

By the tenth generation from Adam and Eve, God is fed up with humanity; there’s too much corruption.

וַיִּנָּ֣חֶם יְהֹוָ֔ה כִּֽי־עָשָׂ֥ה אֶת־הָֽאָדָ֖ם בָּאָ֑רֶץ וַיִּתְעַצֵּ֖ב אֶל־לִבּֽוֹ׃

And God regretted having made humankind on earth. With a sorrowful heart, God said, “I will wipe out the human that I have created from the face of the earth, from human to land animal to the birds of heaven, for I regret having made them.”

Yet, strangely, after the Flood, God seems to regret having destroyed all of humanity.

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־לִבּ֗וֹ לֹֽא־אֹ֠סִ֠ף לְקַלֵּ֨ל ע֤וֹד אֶת־הָֽאֲדָמָה֙ בַּעֲב֣וּר הָֽאָדָ֔ם כִּ֠י יֵ֣צֶר לֵ֧ב הָאָדָ֛ם רַ֖ע מִנְּעֻרָ֑יו וְלֹֽא־אֹסִ֥ף ע֛וֹד לְהַכּ֥וֹת אֶת־כׇּל־חַ֖י כַּֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִֽׂיתִי׃

“Never again will I doom the earth because of humankind, since the devisings of the human heart are evil from youth; nor will I ever again destroy every living being, as I have done.”

It’s hard to know if God is serious, though, for in our Parsha, Vayera, Sodom faces Divine wrath, as well.

Then יהוה said, “The outrage of Sodom and Gomorrah is so great, and their sin so grave! I will go down to see whether they have acted altogether according to the horrific outcry that has reached Me; I will take note.”

Obviously, the verdict was bad, for two Angels destroyed the city through fire and brimstone.

Likewise, God is so frustrated with the Assyrian metropolis of Ninveh that if they don’t change, they’ll meet a similar end:

וַיָּ֤חֶל יוֹנָה֙ לָב֣וֹא בָעִ֔יר מַהֲלַ֖ךְ י֣וֹם אֶחָ֑ד וַיִּקְרָא֙ וַיֹּאמַ֔ר ע֚וֹד אַרְבָּעִ֣ים י֔וֹם וְנִֽינְוֵ֖ה נֶהְפָּֽכֶת׃

Jonah made his way into the city, the distance of one day’s walk, and proclaimed: “Forty days more, and Nineveh shall be overturned!”

A contemporary benefit of the absence of prophets such as Jonah and Jeremiah is that we are no longer subjected to frequent divine warnings of impending destruction upon cities due to their iniquity.

Or do we not hear it, because God has evolved and no longer destroys out of anger? Just climate change!

I’d like to share with you a moving vignette on regret from an interview with Sylvester Stallone. It’s featured in the October issue of the AARP Magazine: Exclusive: Sly Stallone Tells AARP How He Wrote His Way Into Hollywood. September 25, 2025^[1]

“Stallone’s father, Frank, a hairdresser, and mother, Jackie, an aspiring entertainer who worked as a cigarette girl in a nightclub, both had violent tempers, and Sly and his younger brother Frank Jr., who became a singer, were beaten regularly, sometimes with a riding crop.

My mother didn’t want me. She was a narcissist with a borderline personality disorder. Also kind of witty, but in a wicked way, at other people’s expense. And she hated affection. She couldn’t give it. She never hugged me, my brother—forget a kiss. My father certainly was not prepared to be a father. They really didn’t want children, and they had them and thought, So how do we get rid of them?

In 1990, for Rocky V, Stallone cast his son Sage as Rocky’s son Robert, who accuses his father of parental absence. “You never spent time with me,” Robert complains, and because Stallone wrote the dialogue, it feels like a confession on his part and an apology to Sage for not being home more often when his son was young. (Sage died at age 36 in 2012 of heart disease.)

SS: In some of that dialogue, you can hear me apologizing. I felt I should have been closer to Sage. I don’t know if my reticence was a holdover from the way I was raised, but I truly regret it, and it’s something I have to live with. I can’t even watch the film. When people say they have no regrets, I want to laugh. Really? My God, I should have “regrets” tattooed across my forehead.”

The way Stallone models this trait, regret is certainly a Divine attribute.

“And God regretted having made humankind on earth…”

Then God regrets having destroyed all humanity.”

Perhaps the lack of prophets of doom is a sign of God’s repentance for destroying cities based on their behavior.

Regret, when it motivates us to transform our conduct and forge a superior life for ourselves and those in our orbit, is truly a Divine quality.

We should aspire to embody this and other Godly characteristics to cultivate greater love and kindness within our homes and the broader community.

Wishing you a good week,

R’ Neil

^[1] https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/sylvester-stallone-interview/