The Best Laid Schemes O’ Mice An’ Men – First Days of Passover 04/16/22
The Best Laid Schemes O’ Mice An’ Men
This Passover would have been our first with guests in two years. We bought a brisket big enough for 18 people. Then I came down with Covid, and a few days later Judy was positive as well. Suffice it to say, we’ll be eating brisket for a while.
We couldn’t tell all of the kids to go elsewhere, so we had two parallel seders: one in the dining room and one across the house in the living room.
We handed the reins of the seder to the children (aged 15-25) in the dining room, and Judy and I would follow along from afar. Best move we ever made!
The kids schmoozed, sang, and discussed. My oldest daughter even penned a parody of the Disney Musical “Encanto.” Instead of “We don’t talk about Bruno,” “We don’t talk about Pharoah” echoed through the halls. I was so thrilled-it made me feel as if all the tuition money I paid over the years to Jewish Day Schools had finally paid off!
If we hadn’t caught Covid, this year’s seders would have been a repeat of years past: lovely, pensive, and fun times with friends and family. Yet I wouldn’t have known if we had really passed on our passion to our children. I now feel fully confident in the future of Passover with the Heicklen/Schuman progeny.
Putting the ball in our kids’ hands tests their ownership. It forces them to rise to the occasion. Typically, we let go and forfeit control when we no longer feel able. Many times, it’s when age weakens us and our children are already parents themselves. Perhaps we should regularly relinquish control at a younger period.
When I bar/bat mitzvah a child, I let them know that they’re now responsible members of the Jewish community, and in a short time, they will be the ones leading Judaism into the future. I believe Judy’s and my “unwanted” cases of Covid came to teach us all a lesson. Let’s make that transition earlier than later. We all invest significant efforts into our children so that they should be imbued with our ideals and carry them onward. Let’s not wait until we’re too weak to find out. Let’s entrust and empower them earlier. I hope we will all be amazed.